Dazai Osamu -Oblique Sun 2-2

　There was an interesting poem in a newspaper right after the war ended, but when I think back on it now, I feel as if many things happened, but at the same time, I feel as if nothing happened. I don't want to talk about or listen to the memories of the war. So many people died, and yet it is so trite and boring. But then again, am I being selfish? The only thing that doesn't seem so clichéd is the time I was conscripted to wear split-toed socks and play the role of "Yoitomake. I had a lot of unpleasant experiences, but thanks to the work I did, my body became much stronger, and even now, when I am in trouble, I sometimes think about doing it to survive.
　When the war was getting desperate, a man in a military-like uniform came to my house in Nishikatamachi and handed me a piece of paper that said I had been drafted and a daily schedule of my work. When I looked at the daily schedule, I couldn't help but feel tears welling up in my eyes because I had to go to the mountains at the back of Tachikawa every other day from the next day.
Is it wrong to be a substitute?
　I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and I began to sob.
The man replied firmly, "Since you were recruited by the army, it must be you.
　The man replied firmly.
　I made up my mind to go.
　The next day it was raining and we were lined up at the foot of a mountain in Tachikawa, where the officer gave a sermon.
The officer began his sermon with the words, "The war will be won.
　He began by saying.
He began by saying, "The war will always be won, but if you don't do your jobs as ordered by the military, your operations will be hindered and you will end up like Okinawa. I want you to do your job as you are told. Also, there may be spies crawling into these mountains, so please be careful of each other. From now on, you will be working in the same way as soldiers, crawling into the camp, so please be very careful not to tell anyone what is going on in the camp.
　He said.
　The mountain was smoky with rain, and about five hundred men and women were standing in the rain listening to him. Among them were men and women from the National School, all with cold, weeping faces. The rain penetrated my raincoat and soaked my jacket, eventually soaking my underwear.
　I spent the rest of the day doing mokko katsugi, and on the train ride home, I couldn't help but burst into tears. But the next time, it was a good tug of war. I found the job most interesting.
　As I went to the mountains two or three times, the boys from the National School began to stare at me. One day, as I was putting on my moccasins, a couple of boys passed me, and then one of them said, "Is that the spy?
"He's the spy?
　I was startled to hear one of them whisper, "He's a spy?
"Why would he say that?
　I asked the young woman walking alongside me, carrying her mokko.
She looks like a foreigner.
　The young woman replied seriously.
Do you think I'm a spy, too?
No.
　No." This time she smiled a little.
I'm Japanese.
　I chuckled to myself, thinking that my words sounded like ridiculous nonsense.
　One fine day, as I was hopping on a log with a group of men in the morning, the young officer on watch frowned, pointed at me, and said, "Hey, kid.
The young officer on watch frowned and pointed at me, "Hey, kiddo. You, come over here.
　I followed him, my heart thumping with anxiety and fear, until I came to a pile of boards that had just come from the sawmill.
The officer walked over to it, stopped, and turned to me, saying, "I know you have a hard time every day. I know you must have a hard time every day.
　He smiled with his white teeth.
You're standing here?
It's cool and quiet here, you can take a nap on this board. If you are bored, you might want to read this.
　He took out a small paperback book from his jacket pocket, dropped it on the board, and said, "You may read this if you are bored.
"You can read this if you like.
　The book was labeled "Troika".
　I took up the book and said
I took up the book and said, "Thank you very much. I have a friend in my family who loves books, and he is currently in the south.
　But he seemed to have misheard me.
I said, "Oh, yes. He is your husband, isn't he? Oh, so he's your husband.
　He shook his head and said sadly.
Anyway, I'll be on guard duty here today, and I'll bring you your lunch later, so you can get some rest.
　I'll bring you your lunch later.
　I sat down on a piece of wood and read a paperback book, and was about halfway through when the officer came in, his shoes clacking.
I've brought your lunch. I've brought your lunch.
　He left his lunch on the grass and hurried back.
　After I finished my lunch, I crawled up on a piece of wood, lay down and read a book, finished it all and started to take a nap.
　It was past three in the afternoon when I woke up. I suddenly had a feeling that I had seen that young officer somewhere before, and thought about it, but could not remember. I got down from the lumber and was stroking my hair when I heard the clacking of shoes again.
"Well, thank you for your hard work today. You may go home now.
　I ran over to the officer and offered him a paperback book and wanted to thank him, but I couldn't find the words. I looked up at the officer, and when our eyes met, tears began to fall from my eyes, and the officer's eyes also glistened with tears.
　We parted in silence, and the young officer never came to see us again. My mother was very worried about my health, but I grew stronger, and now I am secretly confident in my yotomake business, and I am a woman who does not feel any pain when working in the fields.
　Although I said that I didn't want to talk about the war or listen to it, I ended up talking about my "precious experiences", but that's about all I want to talk about in my memories of the war.
Last year, nothing happened.
The year before last, there was nothing.
The year before that, there was nothing.
　The only thing that remains for me, ridiculously, is the transience of this pair of Tabi Shoes.
　I've already digressed from the topic of Tabi Shoes, but I've been wearing these Tabi Shoes, the only souvenir of the war, and going out to the fields every day, trying to distract myself from the secret anxiety and panic in my heart, but my mother seems to be getting noticeably weaker day by day these days.
　Snake eggs.
　Fire.
　Since then, she seems to have become much more sickly. I, on the other hand, feel that she is becoming more and more crude and vulgar. I can't help but feel as if I'm getting fatter and fatter, sucking all the life out of your mother.
　Even at the time of the fire, she joked that it was just firewood to burn, and never mentioned the fire again. After the fire, she would sometimes moan in the middle of the night, and on windy nights, she would pretend to go to the bathroom and get out of bed late at night to look around the house. His face was always pale, and there were days when he looked as if he could barely walk. He used to say that he wanted to help in the fields, but once I told him not to do so, he carried five or six large buckets of water from the well to the fields, and the next day he said that his shoulders were so stiff that he could hardly breathe, and he was bedridden for a day. After that, he seemed to have given up working in the fields, and even if he came out to the fields once in a while, he would just stare at my work.
I wonder if it's true that people who love summer flowers die in summer.
　I wonder if it's true that people who love summer flowers die in summer…" Again today, Mother was watching me work in the field and suddenly said something like that. I was silently watering the eggplant. Oh, it's early summer already.
I like the nematodes, but there are none in the garden here.
　Mother said quietly again.
There are many oleander trees.
　I said in a deliberately brusque tone.
I don't like them. I like most summer flowers, but that one is too naughty.
I prefer roses. I'd prefer roses, but they bloom in all four seasons, so if you like roses, you have to die four times: in spring, in summer, in autumn, and in winter.
　They both laughed.
Why don't we take a break?
　Mother continued to laugh.
"There's something I want to discuss with you today, Kazuko.
What is it?　I don't want to talk about dying.
　I followed her and sat down on a bench under a wisteria trellis. The wisteria was no longer in bloom, and the soft afternoon sun was filtering through the leaves, turning them green as it fell into our lap.
It's something I've been wanting to ask you about for a long time, but I've been waiting until today to tell you when we're both in a good mood. It's not a good story, anyway. But today, I feel like I can talk about it easily, so please be patient and listen to me until the end. Actually, Naoji is alive.
　I stiffened my body.
Five or six days ago, I received a call from Wada's uncle, a man who used to work for his uncle's company. But there was one thing I didn't like. But, there was one thing I didn't like. According to the man, Naoji has a very bad opium addiction. ……
Again!
　My mouth quirked up as if I had just eaten something foul. When Naoharu was in high school, he imitated a certain novelist and became addicted to drugs, which caused him to owe an incredible amount of money to the drugstore. It took his mother two years to pay off the entire debt to the drugstore.

"Yes. I heard that he started again. However, he said that he would not be allowed to return home until the problem was fixed, so he would surely come back and fix it. According to my uncle's letter, even if he were to return home after being cured, it would be impossible to send a person with such a heart to work anywhere immediately. So, when Naoharu comes back, it would be better to take him back to this mountain villa in Izu and let him rest here for a while without sending him anywhere. Also, Kazuko, your uncle has one more thing he wants you to do. According to your uncle, our money has already run out of everything. Because of the blockage of savings and the property tax, my uncle had no more time to send us money as he had done in the past. So, when Naoji came back, my uncle had to work very hard to make ends meet if he had to live with my mother, Naoji and Kazuko. So, either find a place for Kazuko to marry or find a home for her to work.