Dazai Osamu -Oblique Sun 1-3

　She had never once expressed such weakness to me, nor had she ever let me see her cry so intensely. When your father passed away, when I went to get married, when I came back to your mother with a baby in my belly, when the baby died in the hospital and was born, when I fell ill and fell asleep, and when Naoji did something wrong, your mother never showed such a weak attitude. She never showed such a weak attitude. In the ten years since your father's death, your mother had been the same carefree, gentle mother that she had been during your father's lifetime. And so we grew up with her in a good mood and spoiled. However, she no longer had any money. She spent it all on us, on me and Naoharu, without sparing a single penny. So now I had to move out of the house I had lived in for so long and start a dreary life in a small mountain cottage in Izu, just the two of us. If your mother had been a mean and stingy person who scolded us and secretly devised ways to increase her own money, no matter how much the world changed, she would never have felt like dying. My heart was filled with the thought that I had realized for the first time in my life what a horrible, miserable, helpless hell it was. I was lying on my back like a stone.
　The next day, she still looked pale and groggy, and seemed to want to stay in the house as long as possible, but Uncle Wada came and told her that most of her belongings had already been sent and that she would leave for Izu today. I've already sent most of my belongings, and I'm leaving for Izu today.
　The train was relatively empty, and all three of us sat down. On the train, my uncle was in a very good mood, singing and groaning, but my mother looked pale, downcast, and very cold. At Mishima, I transferred to the Sunzu Railway and got off at Izu Nagaoka, then took a 15-minute bus ride up a gentle slope toward the mountains to a small village, and on the outskirts of the village was a rather sophisticated Chinese style villa.
"Mother, this place is nicer than I expected," I said breathlessly.
　I said breathlessly.
"Yes, it is.
　Mother, it's nicer than I expected," I said breathlessly.
The air is good. The air is clean.
　My uncle was proud of it.
Really.
　Your mother smiled.
The air here is delicious. The air here is delicious.
　The air here is delicious.
　The three of us laughed together.
　When we walked in the front door, we found that the luggage from Tokyo had already arrived, filling the entrance and the room.
The next best thing is the view from the tatami room.
　My uncle was so excited that he dragged us to the tatami room and made us sit down.
　It was about three o'clock in the afternoon, and the winter sun was softly shining on the lawn of the garden. There was a small pond at the end of the stone steps from the lawn, many plum trees, a mandarin orchard at the bottom of the garden, a village road, rice paddies on the other side of the road, a pine forest on the far side of the road, and the sea on the other side of the pine forest. Across the pine forest, you can see the ocean. When I was sitting in the tatami room, the sea looked as high as the horizon touching the tip of my breast.
It's such a soft view.
　Mother said gloomily.
Maybe it's the air. The sunlight is so different from Tokyo. It's as if the rays of light are silken.
　I said excitedly.
　There were ten tatami mats, six tatami mats, a Chinese style parlor, three tatami mats at the entrance, three tatami mats at the bathroom, a dining room, a kitchenette, and a western style room with a large bed on the second floor for guests. I thought it would be comfortable for the two of us.
　My uncle went out to negotiate a meal at an inn that was said to be the only one of its kind in the tribe, and eventually received a boxed lunch, which he spread out on the floor and drank his own whiskey. However, her mother only put a few chopsticks in her lunch box.
When it was getting dark, she said in a low voice, "Let me sleep like this for a while.
　She said in a quiet voice.
　I pulled out a comforter from his luggage and put him down to sleep, and then, feeling very anxious, I found a thermometer in his luggage and measured his fever, which was 39 degrees Celsius.
　My uncle was so shocked that he went down to the village to find a doctor.
"Mother!
　I called out to her, but she just dozed off.
　I grasped her small hand and sobbed. No matter how much I cried, I couldn't stop it. No matter how much I cried, I couldn't stop. As I cried, I really wanted to die with her. We don't need anything anymore. I knew that our lives were over when we left the house in Nishikatamachi.
　About two hours later, my uncle brought the village doctor to the house. He looked very old and was wearing a Sendai-heira hakama and white tabi.
　After his examination, he said
After his examination, he said, "I think I may have pneumonia. But even if you do get pneumonia, there is nothing to worry about.
　He gave me an injection and left.
　The next day, her fever had not gone down. Wada's uncle handed me 2,000 yen and told me to send a telegram to Tokyo if she should have to be hospitalized, etc. He left for Tokyo that day.
　I took out the minimum necessary cooking utensils from her luggage, made porridge and offered it to her. She took three spoonfuls and shook her head.
　A little before noon, the teacher from the village below arrived again. This time he was not wearing his hakama, but he was still wearing his white tabi.
When I said, "You should be hospitalized, …….
　I said.
No, that won't be necessary. I will give you a strong injection today, and your fever will go down.
　He replied as reassuringly as ever, "No, that won't be necessary.
　However, the strong injection may have had a strange effect, for shortly after noon that day, her face turned red and she began to sweat profusely.
I think I might be a good doctor.
　Her fever had dropped to seven degrees.
　Her fever had gone down to seven degrees. I was so happy that I ran to the only inn in the village and asked the proprietress to give me ten eggs, which I immediately cooked half-boiled and gave to her. The mother took three half-boiled eggs and half a bowl of porridge.
　When I thanked him for the strong injection I had given her yesterday, he nodded his head as if it was only natural that it would work.
She then turned to me and said, "The Grand Mistress is no longer ill. You are no longer ill, so from now on, you may eat and do whatever you like.
　He said it in such a strange way that it took all my strength to resist the urge to burst out into laughter.
　I walked the doctor to the door and returned to the tatami room to find her sitting on the floor.
She said, "You really are a great doctor. I'm not sick anymore.
　I'm not sick anymore," she said to herself with a very happy look on her face.
"Mother, let's open the shoji. It's snowing.
　Peony snow, as big as flower petals, was beginning to fall softly. I opened the shoji, sat down side by side with my mother, and looked at the snow of Izu through the glass door.
I'm not sick anymore," she said.
　I'm not sick anymore," she said again, as if to herself.
I'm not sick anymore," she said to herself again, "sitting here, I feel as if everything before was just a dream. The truth is that I was on the verge of moving, and I really, really didn't want to come to Izu. I wanted to stay in that house in Nishikatamachi for as long as possible, even if it was only for a day or half a day. When I got on the train, I felt like I was half dead, and when I arrived here, I felt a little happy at first, but when it got dark, I felt so sad about Tokyo that I felt like my heart was burning and I felt faint. It was no ordinary illness. God killed me once and then brought me back to life, making me different from the person I was yesterday.
　From then until today, the two of us have been living alone in the mountain cottage without any problems. The people of the tribe have been kind to us. We moved here in December of last year, and from then until today, January, February, March, and April, other than preparing meals, we were usually knitting on the porch, reading books, or drinking tea in the shina-ma, living a life almost apart from the world. In February, the plum blossoms bloomed and the whole tribe was covered with them. Even in March, there were many calm days with no wind, so the plum blossoms in full bloom did not fade one bit and continued to bloom beautifully until the end of March. Morning, noon, evening, and night, the plum blossoms were so beautiful that it made me sigh. Whenever the glass door of the porch was opened, the smell of the flowers would flow into the room. At the end of March, when the wind must have been blowing in the evening and I was setting out bowls in the dining room at dusk, the petals of the plum blossoms would blow in through the window and get wet in my bowl. In April, while Mother and I were knitting on the porch, the topic of conversation was usually plans for planting a garden. She also said she would like to help. As I write this, it seems as if we died once and came back to life as a different person, just like my mother said, but I wonder if we are not capable of resurrection like Jesus. Although my mother said so, she still took a spoonful of soup, thought of Naoharu, and cried out, "Ah! In fact, the scars from my past have not healed at all.

　Oh, I want to write clearly, without hiding anything. There are even times when I secretly think that the peace and tranquility of this lodge is all just a lie, a sham. Even if this is just a short period of rest that God has given to us as parents and children, I can't help but feel that something sinister and dark is already creeping into this peace. I hope it's just the seasons, I'm getting so tired of living like this these days. I wish it was only because of the season. I wish it was just the season. It only deepened and weakened my mother's grief.
　After I wrote "love," I couldn't write the rest.

Dazai Osamu -Oblique Sun 1-2

　Let me tell you a story about snakes. Four or five afternoons before, some neighborhood children found about ten snake eggs in the bamboo thicket of the garden hedge.
　The children said
"They are pit viper eggs!
　The children insisted. I thought, "With ten pit vipers growing in that bamboo thicket, we can't even go down to the garden by accident.
So I said, "Let's burn them.
　I said, "Let's burn them." The children jumped for joy and followed me.
　I piled up leaves and bushes near the bamboo thicket, set them ablaze, and threw the eggs into the fire one by one. The eggs did not burn well. The children put more leaves and twigs on top of the fire to make it stronger, but the eggs did not seem to burn.
　The daughter of the farmer down the street asked from outside the hedge, "What are you doing?
"What are you doing?
　What are you doing?
We are burning the eggs of the pit vipers. When the pit vipers come out, they scare me.
How big are they?
"About the size of a quail egg, but white.
That's just a snake egg. It's not a pit viper's egg. Raw eggs don't burn easily.
　The girl laughed and left.
　The fire burned for about thirty minutes, but the eggs just wouldn't burn, so I had the children pick them up from the fire and bury them under the plum tree, while I gathered pebbles to make a grave marker.
I gathered up the pebbles and made a gravestone. "Come on, everyone, let's worship.
　When I squatted down to join my hands, the children seemed to meekly squat down behind me and join theirs. As I slowly walked up the stone stairs by myself, my mother was standing in the shade of a wisteria trellis at the top of the stairs.
She said, "You poor little thing.
　I thought you were a pitiful person.
I thought it was a pit viper, but it was just a snake. I thought it was a pit viper, but it was just a snake, and I gave it a proper burial, so it's all right.
　I said, but I thought it was a bad idea for my mother to see it.
　My mother is not a superstitious person, but she has been very afraid of snakes since her father's death ten years ago at their house in Nishikatamachi. Just before your father's death, your mother saw a thin black string on his pillow and casually tried to pick it up. The only people who saw it were his mother and Wada's uncle. They looked at each other, but kept quiet so as not to cause a commotion in the deathbed. We were also there, but we did not know anything about the snake.
　However, I did know that on the evening of the day of his father's death, there was a snake climbing up a tree in the garden by the pond. I am a twenty-nine year old grandmother, so I was already nineteen years old when your father passed away ten years ago. But as I walked toward the pond in the garden to trim the flowers, I stopped at an azalea on the shore of the pond and looked down to see a small snake snaking around the branch end of the azalea. I was a little frightened. I was a little frightened, and when I tried to break off the next branch of wildflowers, I found that the snake was also wrapped around that branch. The neighboring mohsai (Chinese rhinoceros), wakakaede (Japanese maple), enisida (Japanese maple), wisteria (Japanese wisteria), cherry blossom (cherry blossom), every tree, every tree had snakes wrapped around it. But it didn't seem so scary to me. I had the feeling that the snakes were just as sad as I was about my father's passing and were crawling out of their holes to worship his spirit. When I gently told my mother about the snakes in the garden, she calmed down, tilted her head and seemed to think about it, but did not say anything.
　It was true, however, that these two snake incidents had made her a terrible snake hater ever since. Rather than averse to snakes, she had developed a sense of fear and admiration for them.
　When my mother found out that I had burned the snake's eggs, I felt that she must have sensed something very ominous, and I suddenly felt as if I had done something terrible in burning the snake's eggs. I was so worried that I couldn't forget the next day, and the day after that. As I cleaned up after breakfast, I couldn't help but feel as if there was a creepy little snake in my heart that was threatening my mother's life.
　So, that day, I saw the snake in the garden. It was a beautiful sunny day, so after I finished my work in the kitchen, I took a wicker chair to the garden lawn to do my knitting, and when I went down to the garden with the chair, I saw a snake on the bamboo grass. Oh, no. So I took the wicker chair back and went up to the porch, where I sat down on a chair and began to knit. In the afternoon, I went down to the garden to take out a book of Laurencin's paintings from the collection stored in the back of the main hall in the corner of the garden, and saw a snake slowly crawling on the grass. It was the same snake I saw in the morning. It was a slender, elegant snake. I thought, "A female snake. She walked quietly across the lawn to the shade of a wild rose, stopped, raised her head, and flicked her thin, flaming tongue. After a while, she hung her head and sank into a sorrowful swoon. Even then, I could not help thinking that it was a beautiful snake, so I went to the main hall, took out my art book, and on my way back, I looked at the place where the snake had been, but it was gone.
　In the evening, while I was having tea with my mother in the Shina-ma, I was looking toward the garden when I saw the snake of the previous day slowly reappearing on the third stone of the stone steps.
　Mother spotted it and asked
"What is that snake?
　She stood up, ran towards me, took my hand and stood still. When he said that, it occurred to me.
"The egg mother?
　I said to myself.
"Yes, that's right.
　The mother's voice was faint.
　We took each other's hands, held our breaths, and silently watched over the snake. The snake, which had been hovering languidly on the stone, staggered back to its feet and crawled weakly across the stone steps toward the scrub.
I whispered to him, "You've been walking around the garden since this morning.
　I whispered, "I've been walking around the garden since this morning," but her mother sighed and sat down in her chair.
"Isn't that right?　I'm looking for eggs, you know. I'm looking for eggs, poor thing.
　I couldn't help it.
　I couldn't help but giggle.
　The setting sun was shining on her face, and her eyes looked so blue and shining, and her face was so beautiful that I wanted to jump on it, with a hint of anger in it. Then I thought, "Oh, your mother's face looks somewhat like that sad snake I saw earlier. For some reason, I felt that the ugly snake that lived in my chest, like a pit viper, would one day devour and kill this beautiful mother snake, who was so sad and beautiful.
　I placed my hand on her soft, pliant shoulder and writhed for no apparent reason.

　It was the beginning of December, the day after Japan's unconditional surrender, when we left our house in Nishikatamachi, Tokyo, and moved to this slightly Chinese style villa in Izu. After the death of our father, our family's finances had been taken care of by our Uncle Wada, who was our mother's younger brother and now our mother's only living relative. He told her that there was nothing better to do than to sell the house, and that it would be better for the two of them to buy a nice little house in the country and live as they pleased. It seems that she asked for his help.
　At the end of November, my uncle sent me an express letter saying that a villa belonging to Viscount Kawada was for sale along the Sunzu Railway line, that the house was on a hill with a good view, that the fields were about 100 tsubo, that the area was famous for plum blossoms, that it was warm in winter and cool in summer, and that if I lived there, I was sure I would like it.
"Are you coming, Mother?
　I asked.
When I asked, "Are you coming, Mother?" she replied, "Because I've been asking you.
　I asked, "Are you coming, Mother?
　The next day, she went out a little after noon, accompanied by her original driver, Mr. Matsuyama, and around eight o'clock in the evening, Mr. Matsuyama drove her home.
I've decided.
　She came into Kazuko's room, put her hands on Kazuko's desk, and sat down as if she was going to collapse.
What did you decide?
All of it.
"Everything.
　I was astonished.
Before I could even see what the house looked like, ……
　Your mother propped herself up on one elbow on the desk, put her hand lightly on her forehead, and gave a little sigh.
She leaned one elbow on the desk, placed a hand lightly on her forehead, and heaved a small sigh, "Uncle Wada says it's a nice place. I feel as if I could close my eyes and move into that house.
　He raised his head and smiled faintly. She raised her head and smiled faintly, her face a little wan and beautiful.
You're right.
　I, too, was overcome by the beauty of her mother's trust in Wada's uncle, and I gave her a gesture of agreement.
Then Kazuko will close her eyes, too.
　We both laughed out loud, but after we laughed, we both felt very lonely.
　Everyday after that, laborers came to the house and began to prepare the house for moving. Wada's uncle also came to the house and made arrangements for us to sell whatever we had to sell. My maidservant and I were busy sorting out the clothes and burning the garbage in the yard, but my mother neither helped nor gave any instructions, instead lingering in her room every day.
What's the matter?　Don't you want to go to Izu anymore?
　"No," she said, even though I asked her a little harder.
No.
　" he replied with a vague look on his face.　After about ten days, I was able to finish the arrangement. In the evening, while you and I were burning paper scraps and straw in the garden, your mother came out of her room and stood on the porch, silently watching our bonfire. A cold, gray westerly wind was blowing, and the smoke was crawling low to the ground.
"Mother!　You look so pale!
　She smiled thinly and said, "It's nothing.
"It's nothing.
　Then she quietly went back into her room.
　That night, since the futons had already been packed, you slept on the sofa in the western-style room upstairs, while your mother and I slept together in her room on a pair of futons borrowed from the neighbor.
　My mother was very old.　In a weak, aged voice, she said, "Kazuko is here.
I'm going to Izu because of Kazuko, because of Kazuko. Because of Kazuko.
　I was stunned.
"What would you do without Kazuko?
　I asked her.
　Her mother suddenly burst into tears.
It would be better for you to die," she said. It would be better for you to die, too, in this house where your father died.
　I want to die in this house where my father died.

Dazai Osamu -Oblique Sun 1-1

　In the morning, in the dining room, you take a spoonful of swoop, and your mother says.
"Ah!
"Hair?
　I wondered if there was something in the soup that she didn't like.
No.
　As if nothing had happened, she flicked another spoonful into her mouth, turned her face to the side, looked out the kitchen window at the mountain cherry blossoms in full bloom, and then, with her face turned to the side, slipped another spoonful between her small lips. The word "flutter" is not an exaggeration in your mother's case. The way she eats is completely different from the way you see in women's magazines. My younger brother, Naoharu, once said to me over a drink, "You have a title, so you must be a good person.
He said, "You can't be a noble just because you have a title. There are some noblemen who have no title but have the title of "tennkoku," and there are others like me who have only a title but are not noblemen but rather lowborn people. Iwashima (referring to the name of Naoji's schoolmate, the Count) is even more depressing than the touts at the brothel Yukaku in Shinjuku, isn't he? The other day, he wore a tuxedo to the wedding of his brother Yanai (also a schoolmate of his brother's, the second son of the Viscount). I was shocked to hear that he used the strange word "gosaimasuru" in his table speech. Pretentiousness is an abusive pretense that has nothing to do with elegance. There used to be a signboard around Hongo that said, "High class boarding house," but in reality, most of the nobility are high class beggars. The nobility of today would never have such a pretentious attitude as that of the Iwashima. Even in our family, the only real nobleman would be Mama. That's the real deal. I'm no match for her.
　When it came to the way we were supposed to eat the soup, we would have turned our heads slightly over the plate, held the spoon to the side, scooped up the soup, and brought it to our mouths with the spoon still lying on its side, but your mother lightly ran the fingers of her left hand over the edge of the table and raised her face without bending over. Then, like a swallow, she lightly and brilliantly carried the spoon so that it was perpendicular to her mouth and poured the spoon between her lips from the tip of the spoon. He would then look around absent-mindedly, handling the spoon as if it were a small wing, never spilling a drop of spoon, and never making a sound, not even a sucking sound or the sound of a plate. This may not be the so-called formal way of eating, but to my eyes, it is very cute and looks like a real thing. In addition, it is true that drinks taste strangely better when they are poured into the mouth. However, since I am a high level beggar like Naoji said, I can't handle the spoon as lightly and carelessly as my mother did, so I give up and slump down on the plate and eat the food in a gloomy way as per the so-called formal etiquette.
　Not only the soup, but also the way her mother served the meal was extremely unmannerly. When the meat was served, she would quickly cut it all into small pieces with a knife and a fluke, then throw away the knife, hold the fluke in her right hand, stick each piece in the fluke, and eat it slowly and happily. For example, when we were struggling to remove the meat from the bones of a chicken on the bone without rattling the plate, her mother would nonchalantly pick up the bone with her fingertips, lift it up, and separate the meat from the bone with her mouth. Such a savage gesture looks not only cute but even erotic when she does it. Not only with chicken on the bone, but she sometimes even picks up the ham and sausage from the lunch dishes with her fingertips.
Do you know why omusubi is so delicious? Do you know why omusubi tastes so good?" He once told me, "It is because it is made by grasping it with human fingers.
　He once told me, "You know why omusubi tastes so good?
　I sometimes think that if I ate them with my hands, they would be delicious, but if a high level beggar like me tried to imitate him, I would end up looking like a real beggar, so I held back.
　Even my younger brother, Naoharu, says that he is no match for my mother, but I, too, find it difficult to imitate my mother, and sometimes I even feel despair. One day, in the back garden of our house in Nishikatamachi, on a moonlit night at the beginning of autumn, my mother and I were sitting in the azumaya at the edge of the pond, watching the moon, laughing and talking about the differences in the preparation of a bride between a fox bride and a mouse bride. As we were laughing and talking about how the bride's preparations differed from those of a mouse bride, the mother stood up and walked into the shadows of the bush clover near the pavilion, then peeked out from between the white bush clover flowers with a more vivid white face, smiled a little, and said
He smiled a little and said, "Kazuko, guess what your mother is doing now.
　He said, "Kazuko, guess what your mother is doing right now.
"She's folding flowers," I said.
　He laughed out loud and said, "I have to pee.
He laughed out loud and said, "I have to pee.
　I said, "You are folding flowers.
　I was surprised that she didn't squat down at all, but she seemed to be very cute from the start, which I couldn't imitate.
　I've digressed a lot from this morning's swoop, but I read in a book the other day that noblewomen in the days of the Louis dynasty peed in the gardens of their palaces and in the corners of the corridors without a care in the world, and I found their absent-mindedness really cute, and I wondered if my mother was one of the last of such real noblewomen.
　Now, this morning, she took a spoonful of swoop and said, "Oh," in a small voice.　I asked him if it was his hair, and he said no. "Was it salty?
I asked him if it was his hair, and he said no. "Was it too salty?
　I made this morning's soup like a potage by back-pulling the grimpice from the canned clams that had been rationed from the U.S. I'm not a confident cook, so even though her mother said no, I still asked her with some trepidation.
I asked her with some trepidation, even though she said no. "You did very well.
　She said seriously, finished her soup, then picked up a handful of omusubi wrapped in nori seaweed and left.
　I have not enjoyed breakfast since I was a little girl, and I don't get hungry until around ten o'clock, so even then I managed to finish the soup, but I was too eager to eat. She then picks up a piece of it with her chopsticks and pushes it into her mouth with her chopsticks at right angles to her mouth, as if she were feeding it to a small bird. She leaned her back against the wall where the morning sun was shining and watched me eat in silence for a while.
He watched me eat for a while in silence, then said, "Kazuko, you're still not good enough. She said, "Kazuko is still not good enough, she needs to learn to make her breakfast taste the best.
　He said.
"What about you, mother?　Is it good?
"Oh, yes. I'm not an invalid.
Kazuko's not sick either.
No, no.
　Your mother smiled sadly and shook her head.
　Five years ago, I was diagnosed with lung disease and fell asleep, but I know that was a selfish illness. I know that it was a selfish illness, but your mother's illness the other day was a very worrying and sad illness. I know that it was a selfish disease.
Oh," I said.
　I said.
What?
　This time, she asked me.
　We looked at each other, and I felt that we understood each other completely, so I smiled, and she smiled back.
　That strange, ethereal cry of "Ah" comes out when I'm struck by an irresistible feeling of embarrassment. I couldn't help but let out an involuntary "ah" as a vivid memory of my divorce six years ago flashed through my mind. I couldn't help but say, "Oh…" But what about your mother? I don't think she has an embarrassing past like mine.
"You remembered something just now, didn't you?　What was it?
I forgot.
About me?
No.
About Naoharu?
Yes.
　And then he tilted his head and said.
"Maybe.
　He said, "Maybe.
　My younger brother, Naoji, was drafted into the army midway through college and went to an island in the south, but he disappeared, and even after the war, his destination was unknown.
I think I've given up, but I couldn't stop thinking about Naoji when I had a delicious soup. I should have been better to Naoharu.
　When Naoji entered high school, he became obsessed with literature and started living like a juvenile delinquent, and I don't know how much trouble he caused his mother. And yet, she would take a spoonful of soup, think of Naoji, and say, "Oh. I shoved the rice into my mouth and my eyes burned.
It's okay," she said. Naoji is fine. It's not easy for a villain like Naoji to die. People who die are usually quiet, clean and gentle. Even if you hit him with a stick, he won't die.
　Your mother laughed.
Your mother laughed and teased me, "Well, then, Kazuko-san, I guess you'll die young.
　She teased me.
"Oh, why?　I'm just a bad deco man, I'll be fine until I'm eighty.
"Really?　Then your mother will be fine until she's 90.
"Yes.
　I was about to say, "Yes," but I was a little troubled. Evil men live longer. Beautiful people die early. Your mother is beautiful. However, I want her to live a long life. I was extremely puzzled.
"You're so mean!
　I said, my lower lip began to quiver and tears began to fall from my eyes.

Kenji Miyazawa -The Restaurant of Many Orders 2

　They hung their hats and overcoats on the nail nails, took off their shoes, and paced to the door.
　On the back of the door, they found
"Tie pins, cuff links, glasses, purses, and other hardware.
　Tie pins, cuff links, glasses, glasses, wallets, and any other metal objects, especially those with sharp edges, should be left here.
It said, "Tie pins, cuff links, eyeglasses, glasses, wallets, and any other hardware, especially sharp ones, should be placed here. Right next to the door, there was a magnificent black-painted safe with a wide open mouth. There was even a key with a lock.
Oh, it looks like they use electricity for some kind of cooking. You must have used electricity to cook something. I guess they say that anything with a sharp point is dangerous.
"I guess so. Now that I think about it, do we pay the bill here on the way home?
Apparently so.
That's right. Definitely.
　They took off their glasses and cufflinks, put them all in the safe, and locked it tightly.
　A little further on, there was another door and a glass crow vase in front of it. There was a glass jar in front of it, and on the door was a sign that read.
Please apply the cream in the jar completely to your face, hands and feet.
　I saw that the cream in the jar was indeed cream of milk.
"What do you mean, 'smear the cream'?
It must be very cold outside. It's to prevent cracks from forming if the inside of the room gets too warm. Apparently, there were some very important people in the back. I'm sure there are some very important people in the back.
　They smeared the cream from the jar on their faces and hands, then took off their socks and smeared it on their feet. There was still some left, so they both ate it, pretending to scrape it on their faces.
　Then I hurriedly opened the door and saw on the back of it
On the back of the door, it said, "Have you applied the cream well? Have you applied it well to your ears?
On the back of the door, there was a small jar of cream.
There was also a small jar of cream here. "Well, I didn't apply it to my ears. I almost cut my ears. The owner of this place is really well prepared.
Oh, he really pays attention to details. By the way, I'd like to have something to eat as soon as possible, but I can't help it if it's always in the hallway like this.
　The next door was right in front of it.
The food will be ready soon.
　Hurry up and sprinkle the perfume in the bottle on your head.
　And there was a shiny gold bottle of perfume in front of the door.
　They sprinkled the perfume on their heads.
　But the perfume smelled like vinegar.
This perfume smells like vinegar. What's wrong with it?
"I made a mistake. The servant must have caught a cold or something and made a mistake.
　They opened the door and went inside.
　On the back of the door was written in large letters.
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm sorry for your loss.
　This is all I have to say. Please rub a lot of salt from the jar into your body.
　Please rub a lot of salt from the jar into your body.
　I see, there was a splendid blue brick salt pot, but this time, both of them stared at each other, their faces covered with lots of cream.
"You're so funny," he said.
I think it's funny, too." "When you order a lot of food, you're ordering it from us.
So, in my opinion, a Western restaurant is not a place where people eat Western food, but a house where people eat Western food. He was so shaken that he could not speak any more.
"Well, I mean, we're …… wow. I'm not sure what to say.
"Fugue ……. The gentleman tried to push the door behind him, but it didn't move for another minute.
　There was still a door at the back, with two large keyholes and a silver hawk and knife cut out of it.
No, thank you for all your hard work.
　No, thank you very much.
　It said, "Thank you for your trouble.
It was written on it. In addition, there were two blue eyeballs peeking out of the keyhole.
"Wow. "Oh, no!
"Oh, wow.
　They began to cry, and then there was a whispering in the doorway.
"No, no, no. I've already noticed. Don't rub salt in it.
"Of course not. Of course not. The way he writes is not right. He wrote something stupid like, "I'm sorry you had to go through so many orders.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. They won't even share their bones with us anyway.
That's true. But if they don't come back here, it's our responsibility.
Shall I call them? Come on, customers, hurry up. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on. I've already washed the dishes and salted the greens. All that's left is for you and the greens to be well-matched and put on a white plate. Please hurry up.
"Yes, please, please, please. Or do you not want to eat salads? If you don't like salads, I can start a fire and fry them for you. Anyway, please come quickly.
　They were so distressed that their faces became like scraps of paper, and they looked at each other, shaking and crying silently.
　They looked at each other, shaking and crying inaudibly. Inside they giggled and cried again.
They looked at each other and shook and cried aloud. If you cry so much, the cream will flow. Hey, I'm here. I'll be back in a minute. Come on, come on, come on.
"Come quickly. The master is already waiting for the guests with a napkin, a knife, and a lick of his tongue.
They cried and cried and cried. Then suddenly from behind them came a voice saying, "Woof, woof, woof," and two dogs like polar bears jumped through the door and into the room. The eyeballs in the keyholes quickly disappeared, and the dogs groaned and circled around the room for a while before calling out again
"Woof! The door swung open and the dogs jumped to the next door. The door swung open and the dogs flew away as if they had been sucked in.
　The door swung open and the dogs flew away as if they had been sucked in.
In the darkness opposite the door, there was a voice saying, "Yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea, yea. The room was filled with smoke.
　The room disappeared in a puff of smoke, and they stood in the grass, shivering in the cold.
　They stood in the grass, shivering in the cold, their jackets, shoes, purses, and tie pins hanging from the branches of the tree and fluttering at the base of the tree. The wind was blowing, rustling the grass, rustling the leaves, and rattling the trees.
　The dog came back with a grunt.
　And from behind him
The two of them were suddenly taken aback.
　The two suddenly became very energetic.
They shouted, "Come on, come on, we're here! They shouted, "Come on!
　Professional hunters wearing Mino hats came rushing through the grass.
　The two men felt relieved.
　They ate the dumplings that the hunter had brought, and on the way, they bought a wildfowl for only 10 yen and returned to Tokyo.
　However, even after returning to Tokyo, their faces, which had become like paper scraps from a single summer solstice, did not return to their original state, even after taking a bath.

Kenji Miyazawa -The Restaurant of Many Orders 1

　Two young gentlemen, looking exactly like British soldiers, carrying shiny guns and two dogs that looked like polar bears, were walking through the thick foliage deep in the mountains, saying things like this.
These mountains are really strange, aren't they? There's not a single bird or beast to be seen. I don't care what it is, I can't wait to see it with a tantrum.
I'm sure it would be very painful to give a couple of shots to the yellowish side of a deer. I'm sure they would spin around and then fall down in a heap.
　It was a long way into the mountains. It was deep in the mountains, so deep that even the expert gunsmith who had guided us got a little confused and wanted to go away.
　In addition, the mountain was so terrible that two dogs that looked like white bears got into trouble at the same time, howled for a while, and then froze dead.
I've lost 2,400 yen," said a gentleman, looking at the dog with his eyelids slightly turned up.
I've lost two thousand eight hundred yen. The first gentleman looked at the dog and said, "I lost 2,800 yen.
　The first gentleman turned a little pale and looked at the other gentleman.
I think I'll go back.
"Well, I think I'll go back now that it's not so cold and I'm hungry.
"All right, let's get this over with. Why don't we go back to the inn where we stayed yesterday and buy some wild birds for a few yen?
"There were rabbits, too. In that case, we'll end up the same. Then let's go home.
　But the trouble was, I couldn't figure out which way to go back.
　The wind was howling, the grass was rustling, the leaves were rustling, and the trees were rattling.
I'm so hungry. I've had a pain in my side since last night.
I feel the same way. I don't want to walk much anymore.
I don't want to walk. Oh, I'm in trouble. I want to eat something.
I'd like to eat something.
　The two gentlemen said these things in the buzzing halls.
　At that time, they looked ahead and saw a magnificent Western-style house.
　And on the front door was a
RESTAURANT
Western Restaurant
WILDCAT HOUSE
Wildcat House
and a sign that said, "Wildcat House.
You're right. This place is quite open. Why don't we go in?
Oh, I'm surprised to see you here. But anyway, can we get something to eat?
Of course we can. It says so on the sign.
I don't want it. I'm about to collapse from craving something to eat.
　The two of them stood at the entrance. The front door was made of white bricks and was really magnificent.
　There was a glass sliding door with gold lettering on it.
There was an open glass door with gold lettering that read, "Everyone is welcome to enter. Everyone is welcome to enter, no reservation necessary.
　The two men then said with great joy.
How about this one? The world is really well organized after all. We're a restaurant, but we'll treat you to a feast.
It seems to be so. That's what I meant when I said we would never hesitate to serve you.
　They pushed the door open and went inside. They pushed the door open and went inside, where they found themselves in a hallway. On the back of the glass door, in gold letters, was a sign that read.
We welcome the very fertile and the very young.
　They were overjoyed to hear that they were welcome.
"You know we're all about the welcome.
"We are both.
　We walked down the corridor and came to a light blue painted door.
It's a strange house. Why are there so many doors?
This is the Russian way. "It's the Russian way, all the cold places and mountains have them.
　When they went to open the door, they saw a sign on the top in yellow letters.
We are a restaurant with a lot of orders, so please be aware of that.
It's quite a business. In the middle of the mountains like this.
"That's right. Look, there are not many big restaurants in Tokyo on the main street.
　The two men opened the door. They opened the door.
"I know this is a lot to order, but please bear with me.
One of the gentlemen frowned, "What the hell does that mean? One of the gentlemen frowned.
One of the gentlemen frowned, "Well, it means that you've ordered so much that it's going to take a while to get everything ready.
I'm sure it is. I can't wait to get into a room somewhere.
I can't wait to get into a room somewhere and sit at a table.
　But to make matters worse, there was another door. There was a mirror on the side of the door, and underneath it was a long-handled brush.
　On the door, in red letters, were the words
"Ladies and gentlemen, please come here and do your hair properly.
　Please come here and do your hair properly and then remove the mud from your kimono.
It was written in red letters.
This was very plausible. When I was at the Satsuki entrance, I thought I was in the mountains and underestimated it.
It's a family with strict manners. We live in a very strict house, and very important people often come here.
　So they brushed their hair and cleaned the mud off their shoes.
　Then, what do you think? As soon as they put the brush on the board, it disappeared in a blur, and the wind blew into the room.
　Both of them were frightened and leaned against each other, slamming the door open and going into the next room. Both of them thought that if they didn't eat something warm soon to cheer themselves up, they would be in a lot of trouble.
　On the inside of the door, there was another strange thing written.
"Please put your guns and bullets here.
　I looked and saw a black stand right next to it.
"I see, there is no law against eating with a gun.
No, there must be someone very important here all the time.
　They took off their guns, untied their sashes, and placed them on a stand.
　There was another black door.
Please take my hat, cloak and shoes.
"Will you take them?
It's no use, I'll take them. I'm sure he's a very good man. He's the one in the back.

斜陽 太宰治 八

　ゆめ。
　皆が、私から離れて行く。
　直治の死のあと始末をして、それから一箇月間、私は冬の山荘にひとりで住んでいた。
　そうして私は、あのひとに、おそらくはこれが最後の手紙を、水のような気持で、書いて差し上げた。

　どうやら、あなたも、私をお捨てになったようでございます。いいえ、だんだんお忘れになるらしゅうございます。
　けれども、私は、幸福なんですの。私の望みどおりに、赤ちゃんが出来たようでございますの。私は、いま、いっさいを失ったような気がしていますけど、でも、おなかの小さい生命が、私の孤独の微笑のたねになっています。
　けがらわしい失策などとは、どうしても私には思われません。この世の中に、戦争だの平和だの貿易だの組合だの政治だのがあるのは、なんのためだか、このごろ私にもわかって来ました。あなたは、ご存じないでしょう。だから、いつまでも不幸なのですわ。それはね、教えてあげますわ、女がよい子を生むためです。
　私には、はじめからあなたの人格とか責任とかをあてにする気持はありませんでした。私のひとすじの恋の冒険の成就(じょうじゅ)だけが問題でした。そうして、私のその思いが完成せられて、もういまでは私の胸のうちは、森の中の沼のように静かでございます。
　私は、勝ったと思っています。
　マリヤが、たとい夫の子でない子を生んでも、マリヤに輝く誇りがあったら、それは聖母子になるのでございます。
　私には、古い道徳を平気で無視して、よい子を得たという満足があるのでございます。
　あなたは、その後もやはり、ギロチンギロチンと言って、紳士やお嬢さんたちとお酒を飲んで、デカダン生活とやらをお続けになっていらっしゃるのでしょう。でも、私は、それをやめよ、とは申しませぬ。それもまた、あなたの最後の闘争の形式なのでしょうから。
　お酒をやめて、ご病気をなおして、永生きをなさって立派なお仕事を、などそんな白々しいおざなりみたいなことは、もう私は言いたくないのでございます。「立派なお仕事」などよりも、いのちを捨てる気で、所謂悪徳生活をしとおす事のほうが、のちの世の人たちからかえって御礼を言われるようになるかも知れません。
　犠牲者。道徳の過渡期(かとき)の犠牲者。あなたも、私も、きっとそれなのでございましょう。
　革命は、いったい、どこで行われているのでしょう。すくなくとも、私たちの身のまわりに於(お)いては、古い道徳はやっぱりそのまま、みじんも変らず、私たちの行く手をさえぎっています。海の表面の波は何やら騒いでいても、その底の海水は、革命どころか、みじろぎもせず、狸寝入(たぬきねい)りで寝そべっているんですもの。
　けれども私は、これまでの第一回戦では、古い道徳をわずかながら押しのけ得たと思っています。そうして、こんどは、生れる子と共に、第二回戦、第三回戦をたたかうつもりでいるのです。
　こいしいひとの子を生み、育てる事が、私の道徳革命の完成なのでございます。
　あなたが私をお忘れになっても、また、あなたが、お酒でいのちをお無くしになっても、私は私の革命の完成のために、丈夫で生きて行けそうです。
　あなたの人格のくだらなさを、私はこないだも或るひとから、さまざま承りましたが、でも、私にこんな強さを与えて下さったのは、あなたです。私の胸に、革命の虹(にじ)をかけて下さったのはあなたです。生きる目標を与えて下さったのは、あなたです。
　私はあなたを誇りにしていますし、また、生れる子供にも、あなたを誇りにさせようと思っています。
　私生児と、その母。
　けれども私たちは、古い道徳とどこまでも争い、太陽のように生きるつもりです。
　どうか、あなたも、あなたの闘いをたたかい続けて下さいまし。
　革命は、まだ、ちっとも、何も、行われていないんです。もっと、もっと、いくつもの惜しい貴い犠牲が必要のようでございます。
　いまの世の中で、一ばん美しいのは犠牲者です。
　小さい犠牲者が、もうひとりいました。
　上原さん。
　私はもうあなたに、何もおたのみする気はございませんが、けれども、その小さい犠牲者のために、一つだけ、おゆるしをお願いしたい事があるのです。
　それは、私の生れた子を、たったいちどでよろしゅうございますから、あなたの奥さまに抱かせていただきたいのです。そうして、その時、私にこう言わせていただきます。
「これは、直治が、或る女のひとに内緒に生ませた子ですの」
　なぜ、そうするのか、それだけはどなたにも申し上げられません。いいえ、私自身にも、なぜそうさせていただきたいのか、よくわかっていないのです。でも、私は、どうしても、そうさせていただかなければならないのです。直治というあの小さい犠牲者のために、どうしても、そうさせていただかなければならないのです。
　ご不快でしょうか。ご不快でも、しのんでいただきます。これが捨てられ、忘れかけられた女の唯一(ゆいいつ)の幽(かす)かないやがらせと思召(おぼしめ)し、ぜひお聞きいれのほど願います。
Ｍ・Ｃ　マイ、コメデアン。
昭和二十二年二月七日。

斜陽 太宰治 七-3

　おそらくあのひとは、他のひとの絵は、外国人の絵でも日本人の絵でも、なんにもわかっていないでしょう。おまけに、自分の画いている絵も、何の事やらご自身わかっていないでしょう。ただ遊興のための金がほしさに、無我夢中で絵具をカンヴァスにぬたくっているだけなんです。
　そうして、さらに驚くべき事は、あのひとはご自身のそんな出鱈目に、何の疑いも、羞恥(しゅうち)も、恐怖も、お持ちになっていないらしいという事です。
　ただもう、お得意なんです。何せ、自分で画いた絵が自分でわからぬというひとなのですから、他人の仕事のよさなどわかる筈が無く、いやもう、けなす事、けなす事。
　つまり、あのひとのデカダン生活は、口では何のかのと苦しそうな事を言っていますけれども、その実は、馬鹿な田舎者が、かねてあこがれの都に出て、かれ自身にも意外なくらいの成功をしたので有頂天になって遊びまわっているだけなんです。
　いつか僕が、
「友人がみな怠けて遊んでいる時、自分ひとりだけ勉強するのは、てれくさくて、おそろしくて、とてもだめだから、ちっとも遊びたくなくても、自分も仲間入りして遊ぶ」
　と言ったら、その中年の洋画家は、
「へえ？　それが貴族気質(かたぎ)というものかね、いやらしい。僕は、ひとが遊んでいるのを見ると、自分も遊ばなければ、損だ、と思って大いに遊ぶね」
　と答えて平然たるものでしたが、僕はその時、その洋画家を、しんから軽蔑(けいべつ)しました。このひとの放埒(ほうらつ)には苦悩が無い。むしろ、馬鹿遊びを自慢にしている。ほんものの阿呆(あほう)の快楽児。
　けれども、この洋画家の悪口を、この上さまざまに述べ立てても、姉さんには関係の無い事ですし、また僕もいま死ぬるに当って、やはりあのひととの永いつき合いを思い、なつかしく、もう一度逢(あ)って遊びたい衝動をこそ感じますが、憎い気はちっとも無いのですし、あのひとだって淋しがりの、とてもいいところをたくさん持っているひとなのですから、もう何も言いません。
　ただ、僕は姉さんに、僕がそのひとの奥さんにこがれて、うろうろして、つらかったという事だけを知っていただいたらいいのです。だから、姉さんはそれを知っても、別段、誰かにその事を訴え、弟の生前の思いをとげさせてやるとか何とか、そんなキザなおせっかいなどなさる必要は絶対に無いのですし、姉さんおひとりだけが知って、そうして、こっそり、ああ、そうか、と思って下さったらそれでいいんです。なおまた慾を言えば、こんな僕の恥ずかしい告白に依(よ)って、せめて姉さんだけでも、僕のこれまでの生命(いのち)の苦しさを、さらに深くわかって下さったら、とても僕は、うれしく思います。
　僕はいつか、奥さんと、手を握り合った夢を見ました。そうして奥さんも、やはりずっと以前から僕を好きだったのだという事を知り、夢から醒(さ)めても、僕の手のひらに奥さんの指のあたたかさが残っていて、僕はもう、これだけで満足して、あきらめなければなるまいと思いました。道徳がおそろしかったのではなく、僕にはあの半気違いの、いや、ほとんど狂人と言ってもいいあの洋画家が、おそろしくてならないのでした。あきらめようと思い、胸の火をほかへ向けようとして、手当り次第、さすがのあの洋画家も或(あ)る夜しかめつらをしたくらいひどく、滅茶苦茶(めちゃくちゃ)にいろんな女と遊び狂いました。何とかして、奥さんの幻から離れ、忘れ、なんでもなくなりたかったんです。けれども、だめ。僕は、結局、ひとりの女にしか、恋の出来ないたちの男なんです。僕は、はっきり言えます。僕は、奥さんの他(ほか)の女友達を、いちどでも、美しいとか、いじらしいとか感じた事が無いんです。
　姉さん。
　死ぬ前に、たった一度だけ書かせて下さい。
　……スガちゃん。
　その奥さんの名前です。
　僕がきのう、ちっとも好きでもないダンサア（この女には、本質的な馬鹿なところがあります）それを連れて、山荘へ来たのは、けれども、まさかけさ死のうと思って、やって来たのではなかったのです。いつか、近いうちに必ず死ぬ気でいたのですが、でも、きのう、女を連れて山荘へ来たのは、女に旅行をせがまれ、僕も東京で遊ぶのに疲れて、この馬鹿な女と二、三日、山荘で休むのもわるくないと考え、姉さんには少し工合(ぐあ)いが悪かったけど、とにかくここへ一緒にやって来てみたら、姉さんは東京のお友達のところへ出掛け、その時ふと、僕は死ぬなら今だ、と思ったのです。
　僕は昔から、西片町のあの家の奥の座敷で死にたいと思っていました。街路や原っぱで死んで、弥次馬(やじうま)たちに死骸(しがい)をいじくり廻されるのは、何としても、いやだったんです。けれども、西片町のあの家は人手に渡り、いまではやはりこの山荘で死ぬよりほかは無かろうと思っていたのですが、でも、僕の自殺をさいしょに発見するのは姉さんで、そうして姉さんは、その時どんなに驚愕(きょうがく)し恐怖するだろうと思えば、姉さんと二人きりの夜に自殺するのは気が重くて、とても出来そうも無かったのです。
　それが、まあ、何というチャンス。姉さんがいなくて、そのかわり、頗(すこぶ)る鈍物のダンサアが、僕の自殺の発見者になってくれる。
　昨夜、ふたりでお酒を飲み、女のひとを二階の洋間に寝かせ、僕ひとりママの亡くなった下のお座敷に蒲団(ふとん)をひいて、そうして、このみじめな手記にとりかかりました。
　姉さん。
　僕には、希望の地盤が無いんです。さようなら。
　結局、僕の死は、自然死です。人は、思想だけでは、死ねるものでは無いんですから。
　それから、一つ、とてもてれくさいお願いがあります。ママのかたみの麻の着物。あれを姉さんが、直治が来年の夏に着るようにと縫い直して下さったでしょう。あの着物を、僕の棺にいれて下さい。僕、着たかったんです。
　夜が明けて来ました。永いこと苦労をおかけしました。
　さようなら。
　ゆうべのお酒の酔いは、すっかり醒めています。僕は、素面(しらふ)で死ぬんです。
　もういちど、さようなら。
　姉さん。
　僕は、貴族です。