Dazai Osamu -Oblique Sun 6-3

　I heard the front door rattle open.
I heard a young man's voice saying, "Sir, I've got it.
　I heard a young man's voice saying, "Sir, I've got it.
I insisted on 20,000 yen, but finally I got 10,000 yen.
"A check?
　Mr. Uehara's voice was hushed.
No, it's just a present one. I'm sorry.
"Oh, well, I'll write the receipt.
　
"Where's Nao?
　The lady asked Chie with a serious look on her face. I was stunned.
I don't know. I don't know. I'm not Naoto's guardian.
　I don't know. I'm not Nao-san's guard," said Chie, her face reddening daintily.
I don't know what happened to you and Mr. Uehara.　We were always together, always.
　The lady said calmly.
She said she liked dancing more. He must have found a lover in Dansaa.
He must have found a lover in Dansaa.
That's what you make me do.
But Sunao is worse than you. That little bastard is …….
You know what?
　I smiled and interrupted him. I thought it would be disrespectful to the two of them if I didn't say anything.
I'm Naoji's sister.
　The lady seemed surprised and looked at me, but Chie was unconcerned.
I'm Naoji's sister. When I saw you standing in that dark corner of the earthen floor, I thought you were Naoharu. I thought you were going to fix it.
"Is that so?
　The lady changed her tone.
She changed her tone and said, "How dare you come to such a humble place? So?　Have you known Mr. Uehara for a long time?
Yes, we met six years ago at …….
　I stammered, turned my head, and felt like crying.
"Thank you for waiting.
　The maid came with udon noodles.
Please eat it. Eat it while it's hot.
　The maid recommended.
"Bon appétit.
　As I dug my face into the steam of the udon and slurped it down, I felt as if I was now experiencing the ultimate in the wretchedness of life.
　
She silently handed the lady a large envelope, "Don't cheat on the rest with just this.
　Without even looking inside the envelope, she tucked it into the drawer of the brazier and said with a laugh, "I'll bring it.
I'll bring it to you. I'll bring it to you. I'll pay for the rest next year.
What did you do?
　Ten thousand yen. I wonder how many light bulbs I could buy with that much. I could live comfortably for a year if I had that much.
　Oh, there's something wrong with these people. However, just like in the case of my love, these people might not be able to live without it. As long as people are born into this world, they have to live through it, so maybe I shouldn't hate these people for trying to live through it. To be alive. To be alive. Oh, what an unbearable and breathtaking task it is.
Anyway," said the gentleman in the next room.
　The gentleman in the next room said.
If you want to live in Tokyo from now on, you have to be able to say, "Konchichiwa," which is a very frivolous greeting. Demanding such virtues as dignity and sincerity from us nowadays is like pulling on the legs of the neck. Dignity?　Sincerity?　Pfft, pfft. You can't live with that. If you can't say "hello" lightly, there are only three things left to do, one is to go back to farming, one is to commit suicide, and the other is to be a pimp.
One is to return to farming, one is to commit suicide, and the other is to pimp for a woman.
　Another gentleman said.
"Drinking like Jiro Uehara.
　Guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine, guillotine.

　You don't have a place to stay," said Mr. Uehara in a low voice, as if talking to himself.
"Me?
　I was conscious of a snake with a sickle on its head. Hostility. I stiffened my body with a feeling similar to that.
It's cold. It's cold.
　Mr. Uehara muttered, unconcerned about my anger.
You can't.
　I don't think so," interrupted the lady.
I feel sorry for you.
　Uehara-san clicked her tongue.
"Then you shouldn't have come here.
　I kept silent. I was silent. This person had indeed read my letter. I quickly guessed from the mood of his words that he had read my letter and loved me more than anyone else.
It's no use. I think I'll go to Fukui-san and ask him for help. Chie, can you take me there? No, it's too dangerous for a woman to go alone. That's a problem. Mom, please take this person's clothes and put them around the house. I'll send it back to you.
　It felt like midnight outside. The wind had died down somewhat and the sky was filled with stars. We walked side by side.
We walked side by side, "I could do anything, even take a nap.
　Uehara-san said in a sleepy voice.
"Yes.
　"Yes," was all Uehara-san said in a sleepy voice.
You wanted to be alone with me, didn't you? I bet you did.
　When I smiled, he said.
"That's why I hate you.
　When I laughed, Uehara-san said, "That's why I hate you. I was very aware of how much he loved me.
You drink a lot, don't you? Do you drink every night?
Yes, every day. Every morning.
Is it good?　The alcohol?
It's not good.
　For some reason, I was horrified to hear Mr. Uehara's voice.
Do you have a job?
No. No matter what I write, it's ridiculous, and then I just feel so sad that I can't help it. The twilight of life. The twilight of art. The twilight of humanity. And that's just kidding.
"Utrillo.
　I said it almost unconsciously.
"Ah, Utrillo. I hear he's still alive. He's an alcoholic. He's a corpse. His paintings of the last ten years have been so vulgar that they are all useless.
"It's not just Utrillo, is it?　All the other maestros are on …….
Yes, debilitating. But the new shoots are still shoots, and they are weakening. Frost. Frost. It's like an untimely frost has fallen all over the world.
　Mr. Uehara hugged my shoulders lightly, and my body was wrapped in his double-around sleeves, but I didn't reject him, instead I walked slowly, snuggling up to him.